Chandrababuism
You have two cows in Vijayawada. You hook them to internet and milk them from Hyderabad.

Jayalalithaism
You have two cows. You teach them to cry, "Ammaaaaaaa..." and fall at your feet.

Karunanidhism
You have two cows. You give one to your son and the other to your nephew.

Gandhism
You have two cows. But you drink goat's milk.

Indiraism
You have two bulls. You adamantly consider them as cows.

Lalooism
You have two cows. You buy Rs.900 crore worth of cattle feed for them.

Rajnikantism
You have two cows. You throw them into air and catch their milk in your mouth.

Sardarism
You have two cows. You paint them both to get colorful milk.


Softwarism: (Ultimate....)
Client has 2 cows and u need to milk them.

1. First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off)
2. Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan)
3. Then prepare how to milk them (Design)
4. Then prepare what other accessories are needed to milk them (Framework)
5. Then prepare two dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client the way in which you will milk them. (UI Mockups & POC)
6. If client is not satisfied then redo from step 2
7. You actually start milking them and find that there are few problems with accessories. (Change framework)
8. Redo step 4
9. At last milk them and send it to onsite. (Coding over)
10. Make sure that cow milks properly (Testing)
11. Onsite reports that it is not milking there.
12. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from bulls
13. At last onsite milk them and send to client (Testing)
14. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance Test)
15. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk
16. Now the client says that the quality is good but it’s milking at slow rate (performance issue)
17. Again you slog and send it with good performance.
18. Client is happy???

By this time both the COWS aged and can’t milk.
(The software got old and get ready for next release)

Repeat from step 1!!!!!

Q. What is JFC ?
A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee

Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.

Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which methodology will follow ?
A. Send it through courier.

Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.

Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Non living things can't communicate.

Q. What is meant by flickering ?
A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.

Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.

Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.

Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads ?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.

Q. When is update method called ?
A. Who is update method?

Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.

Q. What is JINI ?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.

Q. How will you call an Applet from a _Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.

Q. How you can know about drivers and datax-ud information ?
A. I will go and enquire in the bus dep ot.

Q. What is serialization ?
A. Arranging one after the other from left to right.

Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.

Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.

Q. What is the exact difference between Unicast and Multicast object ?
A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, else it is multicast

Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different ... nothing more