Software engineer and his wife  

Posted by: Archat in

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.

Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.

Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.

Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.

Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.

Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.

Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.

Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.

Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.

Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.

Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.

Wife - I will go to my dad's house..
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.

Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.

Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.

Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer

IT Persons  

Posted by: Archat in

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost.
He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts,
'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I Would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.'

The man below says, 'Yes. You are in a hot air balloon,
Hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40
and 42 degrees North latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees West Longitude.'

'You must be a programmer,' says the balloonist.

'I am,' replies the man. 'How did you know?'

'Well,' says the balloonist, 'everything you have told me is
Technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your Information and the fact is I am still lost.'

The man below says, "You must be a project manager."

'Yes, I am,' replies the balloonist, 'but how did you know?'

'Well,' says the man, 'you don't know where you are, or where
You are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to Keep, and you expect me to solve your problem.'