Ramu : Hey.. my submarine is not sinking into the water!! what could be wrong?
Somu : may be u have used float instead of double in the software.
PS : Hey Bull, Can you do me a favor? Can you pass on these 500 rupees to Suthi..?
Bull : Sure.. why not? But tell me one thing. Tell me whether its pass by value or pass by reference.
PS : ???!!!
Ramu : I am very very sure that the guy who just talked to me is a software engineer...
Somu : how do u say that?
Ramu : he asked my physical address instead of my home address!
Ramu : Hey.. I think that SW Engg is very very naive..
Somu : How do u say that?
Ramu : He believes that there is an Arabian Sea++ next to Arabin Sea.
Ramu : Hey.... whats time now?
Somu : System time or local time...??
Ramu : Hey.. I have a problem. My system is not booting up!
Somu : may be, its internal buses are on strike.. check out!
Ramu : (while browsing the TV) what is this? I have heard of Star Sports, Star Movies and Star Plus. Whats this Star Equals??? Is it a new Star Channel?
Somu : No. = operator has been overloaded in Star Channel.
Ramu : why are u wiping ur terminal very often with a cloth?
Somu : clear command is not working properly for my terminal. that's why?
Vani : We have shifted our home to BTM layout now..
Soni : right shift or left shift??
Pooja: do u have Design Specs for brinjal sambar?
Varsha : u mean recipe..?
Ramu : Somu, I am going to file a case against my landlord yaar. He's harassing me too much.
Somu : What case? Upper Case or Lower Case or.
Rajanikanth makes onions cry.
Rajanikanth can delete the Recycling Bin.
Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.
Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Rajanikanth can play the violin...... ...with a piano.
When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on,......... ....he turns the dark off.
When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.
Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Rajanikanth' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajanikanth?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.
When you say "no one's perfect", Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.
There is nothing like recession , its just rajnikanth started to save money
Interviewer:Why is a thicker conductor necessary to carry a current in A.C.as compared to D.C. ?
Candidate :An AC current goes up and down (drawing a
sinusoid) and requires more space inside the wire, so the wire has to be thicker.
External (to student) :"Why does a capacitor block DC but allow AC To pass through ?
Student:See, a capacitor is like this ---| |--- , OK.
DC comes straight, like this ----------, and the capacitor stops it. But AC,goes UP, DOWN, UP DOWN and jumps right over the capacitor!"
Interviewer:How will you tell if that wall outlet carries AC or DC?
Candidate:I will put my finger in. If it is pushed away, it is AC. If it gets stuck, it was DC.
Interviewer: How will you reverse direction of an Induction motor?
Candidate:I will remove the four bolts at the x-ud, turn the motor around, and put back the bolts.
Interviewer:How do you start a synchronous motor?
Candidate:Vrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in rising pitch)
Interviewer: Stop! Stop!
Candidate:rrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in falling pitch)
Examiner:"What is a step-up transformer?"
Student:"A transformer that is put on top of electric poles."
Examiner (smiling):"And then what is a step-down transformer?"
Student (hesitantly):"Uh - A transformer that is put in the x-udment or in a pit?"
Examiner (pouncing):"Then what do you call a transformer that is installed on the ground?"
(Student knows he is caught-can't answer) Examiner (impatiently): "Well?"
Student (triumphantly):"A stepless transformer, sir!"
TOP FACTS ABOUT ENGINEERS
Engineers at work:
Assignments solved by one and then carry out mass transfer operations throughout the class
The most important machine for Engineers:
Xerox Machine (Without which assignment Completion couldn't be possible)
Top two Engineering Rumours:
Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks
Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper:
'What is this man, 60% o f the paper was out of the syllabus'
'This was the worst paper set in the entire engineering history' 'I am failing'
How was
Ans : “BACK”.
The IAS Interview
One young man went for an IAS Interview.
"When did India get independence?" He was asked.
"The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied.
"Who was responsible for our independence?"
"There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one, it will be a injustice to another." He replied.
"Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?"
"Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report" He replied.
The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others, since they were planning to ask the same questions.
When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but one persistent Santa would not leave him. "At least tell me the answers" he pleaded, and our friend obliged.
Then it was the turn of this Santa. When he went inside, since his resume was slightly illegible, the board member asked him.
" By the way, what is your date of birth?"
He replied, "The effort began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947."
Somewhat puzzled, they asked another clarification.
"What is your fathers name?"
He replied, "There were so many. Whom to mention". If I name one, it will be injustice to another".
The interviewer was incensed.
"Hey! Are you mad or what?"
He replied. "Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with certainty only after seeing the report."
In U.S. they invented a machine that catches thieves; they took it outto different countries for a test.
In U.S.A, in 30 minutes, it caught 20 thieves;
In UK , in 30 minutes itcaught 50 thieves;
Spain , in 30 minutes it caught 65 thieves;
Ghana ,in 30 minutes it caught 600 thieves; . .
.
.
India , in 15 minutes the machinewas stolen.
Re - Marry ? Re - Think ?
A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the
Wife looks over at him and asks the question....
WIFE: "What would you do if I die? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"
HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed. "
WIFE: -- silence --
HUSBAND: "sh*t."
